“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” – Vincent Van Gogh
I love my diary, as it is my personal space, where I find solace, where I can pen my emotions through words, where I can copy the words of other authors and poets that have touched me. And My sketch book.. It is also my diary, where words are replaced by designs and pen by the paint brush And just how I love noting my favorite excerpts and quotes in my diary, here in my sketchbook, I try to capture some masterpieces as well.
I hope you’ re the same person that you were in the happy days. Also, no I am not talking about how tall you have become or how smart (people around are the same so I know). I hope the old little jokes still make you laugh. I hope you’ re still friends with the girl, you exchanged friendship bands and wrote slam books with. Do you still take out time for the hobbies that you wrote in your school essays? I hope you do! I hope the songs from your teenage still find a place in your current playlist. I hope the confectioneries from your childhood jars are still in your fridge. I hope that regardless of how hard the world has been with you, you still remember to be kind. I hope you still listen to her the way you did back then! (Your heart)
Ever tried to drink your coffee with smaller sips in an attempt to make it last forever? Or on your birthday when you wanted the day to never end Or your favorite vacation where you wanted to stop the time and stay in there forever Or your favorite song which you play on a loop to get lost in its melody forever
Or the bad days at work which you thought would never end Or the days of struggle which you wished you could skip Or the days when you lost hope and felt low and thought they would last forever
They didn’t last forever, right?
That is something about time! It never stops! not for anyone anywhere If the good did not last forever, the bad will not last either This too shall pass and our lives would get back to normal! And we will laugh on this or maybe not but we’ll surely learn and grow
-Remember after every dark night is a beautiful sunny day, till then let the moon and the stars guide you through this dark night!
Kya is thartharati kalam me koi kavita hai Jo sabko sunane se darte ho? (is there something within you, a poem that you fear to say aloud?)
Kya is hichkichati zaban me koi shayari hai jisse tum farmane se darte ho? (is there something you wanna tell others but always hold back?
Is there a magic spell on your tongue that you fear to cast?)
Kya in nazre bachati ankon me koi nazariyan hai jisse sabko dikhane se darte ho? (Do you have perspective, a way of looking at things,
a lens through which you look at things but fear to make others see through it?)
Kya is safar mein koi aise nazare hai jinnki tasvir tum dikhane se darte ho? (is there an experience or a picture from the past that you fear showing others?)
Yeh toh har kisi ki kahani hai Magar kya inki tarah tum bhi iss baat ko apnane se darte ho? (This is everyone’s story But like them do you too fear to accept this? )
Isn’t it surprising?
A person who has spent all her life in silence
will go through it all
Physical and mental pain
Yet not say a word
Not even mumble a thing
The same person would
Raise their voice and
for the slightest discomfort caused to her loved ones
Where does this strength come from?
How does a person who hasn’t spoken a word for years
sing a battle cry?
Is it the fear of seeing your loved one suffer?
How surprising is it to see love strengthen somebody
To give birth to their inside warrior
The one who didn’t speak for years for herself
Yes, that sleeping warrior
What is it Mariam Jo that makes somebody so fearless?
Is it really possible to love someone like you did?
As I struggle to get myself out of this cage
where I put myself
where I torture myself with questions
which don’t mean anything anymore
Or never did! Questions from hypothetical situations which never did or never will ever occur as I try to pick myself from the pith of my thoughts for which only I am the one responsible The hell that I created in my head
where I have the ability to grow flowers
To change the world
To work for a better tomorrow
To do whatever I wish to
I choose to use it to bury bodies
to create barren lands
create storms of negativity
hurricanes of unnecessary thoughts
What have I done to myself? I often ask
And try to seek the solution of this from others
the exit of this hell that I try to find
When I know the answer is right in front of me
Only I have the power to stop this
But will I be able to do it?
Only if I wish to!
There are millions of people living on this planet some successful,
some even more and some not at all,
Some aspiring to be something, some losing hope,
All of them living their own stories
When compiled we all become a part of the story of this universe
The more you contribute the bigger part you become of that story
Some get chapters to their names
while for some just a couple of lines
But does that really matter? There are stories of hundred pages But there’s always that one line that you can’t stop yourself from highlighting And makes you feel like a part of it
I wanna be that part in the story of this universe
It is not necessary that everybody likes the same part of a story
I’d wanna be a part that I will highlight, memorize, and copy a million times in my diary
And for that,
It is certain that I will experience
But in the end It’ ll could be a Happy Ending (Can not be sure of that, can we?) But in the end, it’ ll all be well
Dear…………. you scare me more than what Annabelle ever did, you make me cry more than what The Nun ever did, you are a bigger curse than that of Chucky’s, And like every horror movie only one person can see you (me) When I try telling others about you they do not believe you exist and tell me its all in my head, I know they will believe me only when it’s too late or when they see you themselves Now I have seen enough horror stories to find a way to fight you, but none of those creatures are like you because they attack only when they find you alone or at dark nights, Unlike you who scares me even when I am in a place full of people Even in the brightest days Even in the holy places But this does not break me I will defeat you I know it will take time It will take patience and alot of therapies but I will not let you be the end of me Even if they don’t believe you exist