My diary

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” – Vincent Van Gogh

I love my diary,
as it is my personal space, where I find solace,
where I can pen my emotions through words,
where I can copy the words of other authors and poets that have touched me.
And
My sketch book..
It is also my diary, where words are replaced by designs
and pen by the paint brush
And just how I love noting my favorite excerpts and quotes in my diary,
here in my sketchbook,
I try to capture some masterpieces as well.

Rose?

I have seen her whither
I have seen her bloom

I have seen her hide behind the leaves
I have seen her embrace the sunshine

I have seen her carry those thorns with pride
I have seen her hiding her buds in modesty

I have seen her curl to the softest touch
I have seen her endure a stormy night

I have seen her being kept away from the centre stage,
Yet I have seen her spread her beautiful scent in the entire room.

-She is a Rose Lady

If letters could time travel!

SquarePic_20200712_23081891

 

Dear you,

I hope you’ re the same person that you were in the happy days. Also, no I am not talking about how tall you have become or how smart (people around are the same so I know). I hope the old little jokes still make you laugh. I hope you’ re still friends with the girl, you exchanged friendship bands and wrote slam books with. Do you still take out time for the hobbies that you wrote in your school essays? I hope you do! I hope the songs from your teenage still find a place in your current playlist. I hope the confectioneries from your childhood jars are still in your fridge. I hope that regardless of how hard the world has been with you, you still remember to be kind.
I hope you still listen to her the way you did back then! (Your heart)

 

Yours truly,
You from the happy place.

This too shall pass


Ever tried to drink your coffee with smaller sips in an attempt to make it last forever?
Or on your birthday when you wanted the day to never end
Or your favorite vacation where you wanted to stop the time and stay in there forever
Or your favorite song which you play on a loop to get lost in its melody forever

Or the bad days at work which you thought would never end
Or the days of struggle which you wished you could skip
Or the days when you lost hope and felt low and thought they would last forever

They didn’t last forever, right?

That is something about time!
It never stops!
not for anyone
anywhere
If the good did not last forever, the bad will not last either
This too shall pass and our lives would get back to normal!
And we will laugh on this or maybe not
but we’ll surely learn and grow 

-Remember after every dark night is a beautiful sunny day,
till then let the moon and the stars guide you through this dark night!

Are you like them?

Kya is thartharati kalam me koi kavita hai Jo sabko sunane se darte ho?
(is there something within you, a poem that you fear to say aloud?)

Kya is hichkichati zaban me koi shayari hai jisse tum farmane se darte ho?
(is there something you wanna tell others but always hold back?
Is there a magic spell on your tongue that you fear to cast?)

Kya in nazre bachati ankon me koi nazariyan hai jisse sabko dikhane se darte ho?
(Do you have perspective, a way of looking at things,
a lens through which you look at things but fear to make others see through it?)

Kya is safar mein koi aise nazare hai jinnki tasvir tum dikhane se darte ho?
(is there an experience or a picture from the past that you fear showing others?)

Yeh toh har kisi ki kahani hai
Magar kya inki tarah tum bhi iss baat ko apnane se darte ho?
(This is everyone’s story
But like them do you too fear to accept this? )

Legacy

Isn’t it surprising?
A person who has spent all her life in silence

will go through it all
Cruelty,
Monstrosity,
Oppressive behavior,
Abuses,
Physical and mental pain
Yet not say a word
Not even mumble a thing
But
The same person would
fight battles,
Stand,
Raise their voice and
Howl
for the slightest discomfort caused to her loved ones
Where does this strength come from?
How does a person who hasn’t spoken a word for years
sing a battle cry?
Is it the fear of seeing your loved one suffer?
How surprising is it to see love strengthen somebody
To give birth to their inside warrior
The one who didn’t speak for years for herself
Yes, that sleeping warrior
What is it Mariam Jo that makes somebody so fearless?
Is it really possible to love someone like you did?

– Some legacies are better not inherited!

Overthinking

As I struggle to get myself out of this cage
where I put myself
where I torture myself with questions
which don’t mean anything anymore
Or never did!
Questions from hypothetical situations
which never did or never will ever occur
as I try to pick myself from the pith of my thoughts
for which only I am the one responsible
The hell that I created in my head
where I have the ability to grow flowers
To change the world
To work for a better tomorrow
To do whatever I wish to
I choose to use it to bury bodies
to create barren lands
burn houses
create storms of negativity
hurricanes of unnecessary thoughts
What have I done to myself? I often ask
And try to seek the solution of this from others
the exit of this hell that I try to find
When I know the answer is right in front of me
Only I have the power to stop this
But will I be able to do it?
Only if I wish to!

-The garden turned into a graveyard

 

Highlight

There are millions of people living on this planet some successful,
some even more and some not at all,
Some aspiring to be something, some losing hope,
some struggling
All of them living their own stories
When compiled we all become a part of the story of this universe
The more you contribute the bigger part you become of that story
Some get chapters to their names
while for some just a couple of lines
But does that really matter?
There are stories of hundred pages
But there’s always that one line that you can’t stop yourself from highlighting
And makes you feel like a part of it
I wanna be that part in the story of this universe
It is not necessary that everybody likes the same part of a story
I’d wanna be a part that
I will highlight,
memorize, and
copy a million times in my diary 
And for that,
It is certain that I will experience
Drama, Comedy,
Love, Heartbreak,
Victory, Failure,
Disappointments…
But in the end It’ ll could be a Happy Ending (Can not be sure of that, can we?)
But in the end, it’ ll all be well
and highlight-worthy!!

-Not all bestsellers have happy endings

 

 

To the Scariest of all

Dear………….
you scare me more than what Annabelle ever did,
you make me cry more than what The Nun ever did,
you are a bigger curse than that of Chucky’s,
And like every horror movie only one person can see you (me)
When I try telling others about you they do not believe you exist
and tell me its all in my head,
I know they will believe me only when it’s too late
or
when they see you themselves
Now I have seen enough horror stories to find a way to fight you,
but none of those creatures are like you
because they attack only when they find you alone
or at dark nights,
Unlike you
who scares me even when I am in a place full of people
Even in the brightest days
Even in the holy places
But this does not break me
I will defeat you
I know it will take time
It will take patience
and alot of therapies
but I will not let you be the end of me
Even if they don’t believe you exist

– The ghost in my head!
Depression